Scene—The corner of Northumberland Avenue, opposite the National Liberal Club, where a screen is erected, on which the latest results of the second day's pollings, together with photographs of prominent Liberal politicians, and scathing caricatures of Unionist leaders, are being exhibited by a magic lantern for the benefit of a large and good-humoured crowd. The sympathies of the majority are, as might perhaps be expected, with the winning side, but the minority is very fairly represented, while in "booing" and "brayvo"-ing they are incontestably the stronger party. Time—Between 10 P.M. and 12.30 A.M.
Spectators (as the portrait of Sir William Harcourt is displayed). Yah! Tike 'im down! 'Ow about Durby?... Brayvo!... Three cheers fur 'Ar-court! 'E'll come back yet! (Lord Rosebery's likeness follows.) Good ole Ladas! Cheer up! Put a smile on 'im!
[Mr. Gladstone's face, leonine and benignant, is next shown.
A Chivalrous Conservative (magnanimously). 'E's a grand old chap, any'ow; I ain't goin' to chevy 'im.
[Which, to the credit of the assembly, seems to be the general sentiment, as conveyed by unanimous applause.
A Sanguine Radical. We shall 'ave the results in soon now; it's past ten. We shall do better to-day than what we did Saturday, you see.... Ah, here's the first—"Hereford. Unionist Majority, 313. No change." You can't expeck none in a rotten place like that! You wait a bit.... "Croydon. Increased Unionist majority of 835. No change." Well, 'Utchinson done very well; it's a strong Tory seat, is Croydon. They're on'y 'olding their own so far—that's all.
Radical Group (as a series of cartoons is next displayed). Hor-hor! There's Joey, d'ye see? Boo-oo. "'E tiles not now!"... 'Oo's that? The ole Dook o' Cambridge? No, it's Lord Solsbury, that is. So it is. That's a good 'it, eh? Look at the size of 'is boots! What's written on them? "Comfort," or somethink! "Chuck-out," is it? Oh, I couldn't make the writing out. Hor-hor; got 'im there, they 'ave. Garn. King Bomba!... Look at ole Goshin. 'E 'ave give 'im a 'at, ain't 'e? I arsk you, is that a fice, as orter be in Parliment?... 'Ave they 'ad Balfour up yet? Yuss, they did 'im with 'is trousers shrunk up to 'is knees. Kepital it was. Harhar! that's the way to show that lot up, and no mistake! (&c., &c.)
The Crowd (as several results are announced in succession). Comin' in quick now, ain't they? Look there! "Boston. Unionist gain!" 'Oo-ra-ay! bo-oo-oo! "North Lambeth. Unionist gain." .... "Rochdale. Unionist gain!".... "Bristol (South), increased Conservative majority. No change."
The Sanguine Radical. Tell ye what 'tis, they're putting in all the Conservative wins first. And them bigoted beggars at Bristol, they dunno what they're votin' for, they don't. We shall pull up afore long. There, what did I tell you? Look a' that. "Durham. Liberal majority, 1—Objection raised." Hooray! we're beginning ter buck up now, ye see! (Radical groups cheer in a spirit of thankfulness for small mercies.) "Pontefract. Liberal majority, 57. No change." (Frantic Radical enthusiasm and cries of "Good ole Pontefrack!") "Huddersfield. Radical gain." (Roars of delight from Radicals.) 'Ave a few more like that, and we shall do.... "Oldham. Conservative gain o' two seats." (Tremendous cheering from Conservatives.) Well, after that, I'm prepared for anythink, I am!
Elderly Radical Solon. It's jes this way, them Conservatives, they ain't got no prinserples, o' course, but they do stick together, and that's 'ow they git the advantage over us. But it jes serves the Govment right fur not parsin' the Second Ballot. They could ha' done it, and they orter ha' done it!