Q. How can you become popular?
A. By subscribing largely to local charities and institutions, laying foundation stones, and opening fancy bazaars with untiring energy.
Q. What considerations weigh with you when you are invited to add your name to a subscription-list?
A. I take care to make the sum I give a little larger than that contributed by my opponent, and take it as a general rule that lawn tennis is of more importance than dispensaries, and polo, from a benevolent point of view, takes precedence of associations established to relieve dire distress.
Q. Is there any other method which may be adopted with advantage by those desirous of nursing a constituency?
A. Speaking frequently in assembly rooms, taking nursery gardens for the same purpose, and generally improving trade in the neighbourhood.
Q. Then the money paid for the hirings to which you refer is commercially popular?
A. It is, and (joined of course to the eloquence of my friends and myself) should distinctly influence the election.
Q. And should you be elected, what do you suppose you will have to do?
A. To thoroughly enjoy the honour of being able to treat the House of Commons as a club, and being asked by the leaders of my Party to all their entertainments. I shall see my name in every newspaper report when I have happened to take part in a popular function. I shall find that I have mounted the social ladder by leaps and bounds, and be able to pleasurably patronise or cut direct those who now become my inferiors.