ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY M.P.
Jesse, the Pilot-Engine, clears the Line!
House of Commons, Monday, June 24.—Back to-day from the booming Baltic to wan Westminster. Given up the company of Kings and Queens which formed Don Currie's daily fare; descended to level of Commons. And what a state of things to come back to! Left less than a fortnight ago, with House in almost comatose state. Even the Busy B's had ceased to hum. Tanner no longer disturbed at hour of midnight by poignant curiosity as to when the Dook would retire. Silomio, his head bandaged after latest buffeting by Edward Grey and Sydney Buxton, temporarily silent. Alpheus Cleophas for awhile content with management of House by "my right hon. friend the Chancellor of Exchequer." In a moment, in the twinkling of St. John Brodrick's eye, crisis and chaos come. Ministry blown up with charge of cordite, surreptitiously brought in; concealed under Front Opposition Bench; fired in the dinner hour.
"Cordite?" said Tomlinson. "What is this cordite they're all talking about? Thought it was something they made trousers of."
"No, no," said Private Hanbury, up in all military matters. "You're thinking of corduroy."
House crowded from furthest bench of side galleries to gangway steps on floor. A buzz of excitement completes fulness of chamber. Only two empty seats. These on front benches, where Squire of Malwood and Prince Arthur were wont to face each other. Joseph's seat below gangway filled by Courtney, who, in honour of occasion, has put on a white waistcoat and a smile. Wears both throughout proceedings. A loud cheer welcomes arrival of Prince Arthur looking graver than usual. Three minutes later another rings forth, and the Squire of Malwood enters with slow step and countenance set, suitable to the obsequies of an assassinated Ministry. Jesse Collings comes in; startled by cheer from Irish Members.