Never says nothink offensive—not Chollop!—'e's far too hartistic, 'is voice soft as gruel;
But still 'e can make puffy Crushers go purple with just one tongue-snack as goes 'ome and stings cruel.
Can't score off Chollop. "'E leaves nothink on," says our champion cue-'andler, "Johnny the Jigger."
'E can make fun out of anythink, Chollop can, jam-full of jokes, if 'e just pulls the trigger,
Bang goes 'is charge, sweeping like a machine-gun; old "Carrotty" ramming 'is 'ands in 'is pockets,
And cocking 'is queer ginger-scrub of a chin, while the wheezes fly round 'im like crackers and rockets.
Fussy young coppers fight shy of 'im mostly, for 'e knows the ropes, and 'e can't be caught napping.
No "two-and-six-and-two" (fine and costs) knock 'im at Marlboro' Street, 'long o' loitering or lapping.
Sharp as a weasel, and slippy as jelly, 'e's got such a manner of landing 'is wheezes
As makes the most wooden-chumped constable snigger behind 'is own cuff; then it's go as 'e pleases!