There seems to be a general agreement to dispense with collars this year, and adopt instead a red worsted comforter, which is quite as sightly, and very much more hygienic in these raw, foggy days. But, if you must have a collar, have one in the "stick-up" shape, with the ends slightly dog's-eared; the necktie can hardly be too simple.
As for the trousers, they will be of much the same cut as hitherto, perhaps just a shade baggier at the knees, and falling "concertina"-wise, to meet the boots, into which they should be tucked.
Soles and heels will either be very much worn, or not worn at all—there is no juste milieu here; but eschew boots of a brown colour, which, on a formal occasion like this, are very bad style indeed. Should you desire to be thought a very great "buck" and "blood" indeed, you may have your boots an odd pair. A top-boot and a tennis shoe make a highly effective combination.
It is not necessary to wear gloves; but, if you do, remember to have white knitted ones, not kid. The finger-ends are generally left open, so as to produce an impression of elegant negligence. This may be heightened by allowing just a suspicion of hay or straw to be visible at the apertures.
Lastly, you inquire about the best kind of conveyance to make your rounds in. Take my advice, and refuse to be carried on a chair. I would not even accept a barrow, unless it is drawn by a donkey. It is only once a year, remember, and a certain amount of pomp and splendour is essential if we Guys are to maintain the dignity of our Order in these degenerate times.
I hear whispers that one or two Guys who go in for being "up to date" are seriously thinking of exhibiting themselves this year on bicycles, and, considering the sudden and enormous popularity which the "bike" (to employ a hideous and vulgar abbreviation that offends my taste) has acquired of late amongst the so-called "Upper Ten," I am far from saying that even such a public personage as a Guy must necessarily suffer any loss of dignity by being seen on a cycle—provided he insists upon being securely tied on to the handle-bars, and also upon the machine being supported and guided for him by a couple of able-bodied attendants. But this, I understand, will be de rigueur for any Guy who may so far unbend as to give the practice of cycling the sanction of his official recognition and countenance.
I think that is all you wished to know about; so now, my dear old chap, let me wish you a thoroughly enjoyable day's outing, and a cheery evening by way of finish. You will find that the boys will do you uncommonly well, give you as many combustibles as you can hold, and there is sure to be plenty of fizz about. Sit tight, keep as cool as you can, don't lose your head, or let yourself go too soon, and you may reckon upon having what is colloquially termed "a high old time."
I shall expect a first-rate report, and you are pretty certain to hear from me if I am anywhere in your neighbourhood, so no more at present from
Yours affectionately,
Homme de Paille.