QUITE AT HOME. Scene—An English Court. Accused in Dock. Judge on Bench. Usual accessories.
Judge. I really must request you to be silent, in your own interest.
Accused. But I plead guilty.
Judge. I do not think you know what you are doing. By saying that you committed the crime of which you are accused, you deprive yourself of the chance of acquittal.
Accused. I cannot help that. I did commit the crime—I avow it.
Judge. You are going out of your way to assume unnecessary responsibility. It is for the gentlemen of the jury to decide.
Accused. Surely I can judge for myself. I have only followed the family tradition. We are all villains.
Judge. You have no right to say so. We have to deal with you, not with your relations. Now, please, plead "Not guilty."
Accused. Anything for a quiet life! "Not Guilty."
Judge. I am infinitely obliged to you. Thank you much. Now, what might have commenced as a tragedy may end as a farce.