"The Unspeakable" (over the wall—aside). "OH, LOR!!"
Coster (to acquaintance, who has been away for some months). "Wot are yer bin doin' all this time?"
Bill Robbins (who has been "doing time"). "Oh I've bin Wheelin' a bit, Ole Man—Wheelin' a bit!"
SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.
Happy Lots for Happy Scots.—The Glasgow Herald has been making fun of the Scotch—no, we mean the Scottish—no, we don't, we mean the Scots—Professor. Here is its description of him:—
He, and he alone, can lead a perfectly groomed life. He has an income of between £600 and £2,000 a year. At the outside his work, after he has fairly got settled down to it, means four hours a day for five days a week during six months of the year.... The modern Scotch professor in fact is, or ought to be, that "model man of the world," of whom all of us poor slaves of business and convention stand secretly in awe.