Tum-tum—O this is maddening!

It may be in some gloomy slum,

The organ-grinder's gladdening.

But to a poor suburban scribe,

Intent on scribbling copy,

'Tis torture! Shall I try a bribe?

Or seek oblivion's poppy?

Tum-tum-tum-tiddle-um-tum-tum!

Tum-tum-tum-tiddle——Gracious!

Those "tums" will split my tympanium,