Why should Glasgow Wait?—The average time taken by a telegram to get from Glasgow to London, or vice versâ, is twenty-nine minutes, and the cry of the Glasgow Chamber of Commerce, in consequence, is "More wires!" The Chamber does not mind if they are overhead wires; all it objects to is, overdue wires. There has been a railway race to the north; but a telegraph race seems still more wanted just now. And the worst of it is that the lordly Stock-Exchange folk are specially provided with a wire that sends their telegrams in five minutes. Punch's advice to the Chamber of Commerce is—"wire in!"
JUMPING POWDER.
(Mr. Twentystun having a Nip on his way to Covert.)
Small Boy. "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a Heighty-ton Gun a chargin' of 'isself afore goin' into Haction!"
Bumbledom and Bristles.—A strike of barbers has occurred at the Cork workhouse; no inmate cares to undertake the duty at the pay of one shilling a week; and the guardians are thinking of getting in outdoor relief for the chins of their paupers. Why not an "Irish Melody," to this effect?—
The barbers have struck, farewell to the shave,
And the rate-supplied soap on the cheek of the brave.