The Studious Baron de Book-Worms.
The annual "Timmer" Market, or Timber Fair, has been waking the echoes of sober Aberdeen "with lively din." The Aberdonian youth, so says the Daily Free Press, "shook the nerves of peace-loving citizens by the hideous and discordant noise of tin trumpets and corncrakes." This is odd, for one might imagine that the Caledonian ear, which attunes itself so easily, willingly, and often to the screeches of that national instrument of torture the bagpipe, would hail the comparatively soothing strains of tin trumpet and corncrake with eager enthusiasm. Not so, however. For the "bra' laddie" the only music is that which is emitted by the bagpipe. It appeals to his delicate artistic sense, and, like a much advertised remedy, "it touches the spot." Vive la bag(pipe)atelle!
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
When in doubt, consult the Cap'en.
House of Commons, Monday, September 2.—A sight for Lords and Commons to see Lord High Admiral Jokim seated between Cap'en Tommy Bowles and Arnold-Forster, imbibing naval information at the pores, as Joey Ladle, in far-off-days, deep in the recesses of his employer's cellar, took his spirituous refreshment.