Business done.—A good deal in Committee of Supply.
Friday, 2 A.M.—It is the unexpected that ever happens in House of Commons. Wednesday is ordinarily humdrum day; Speaker takes Chair at noon; all over before six. Accordingly, having met at noon on Wednesday, House sat till two o'clock next morning, proceedings culminating with scene in which Dick Webster, of all men, was convicted of disorderly conduct.
"Really," said J. G. Talbot, nervously rubbing his hands, "I don't know what we shall see next. Probably the Chaplain, in full canonicals, conducted to Clock Tower by Serjeant-at-Arms for having spoken disrespectfully of the Archbishop of Canterbury. The sooner this Session is over, the better it will be for Church and State."
By way of balancing eccentricity of uproarious Wednesday, the sitting just drawing to close has been unrelievedly dull. Yet it was the sitting solemnly set aside for Irish votes. Battle-royal expected, with nothing left at its close but few fragments that had once been Gerald Balfour, and here and there the limb of an Irish Member. Nothing happened, not even a division. Only long succession of dreary diatribes, with Gerald Balfour occasionally interposing with new promise of benignant sway.
"Very odd," said Truculent Tim, annoyed to find himself mollified. "The voice of the new Chief Secretary is uncommonly like the voice of Arthur Balfour. But the hands promise to rule after the fashion of the hands of John Morley."
Business done.—All the Irish votes passed.
Friday.—House sat to-day, pegging away again at Supply, so as to prorogue next week. Navy Votes on; Cap'en Tommy Bowles attempts to boss the show, making light of Lord High Admiral Jokim, openly alluding to Corporal Hanbury as a horse-marine, this too much for an ancient friendship strained by altered circumstances.
"Tommy," said the Financial Secretary to the Treasury, turning round upon his former ally, after he had been up for twentieth time dictating marine tactics to the Sea Lords and policy to the First Lord; "did you ever hear a story Lubbock tells about the Maori convert? As he had not been seen for some weeks inquiry was made as to his welfare. 'Oh,' explained the chief of his tribe, 'he gave us so much good advice that at last we put him to death.' Think it over Tommy. It's a nice story, and there's a moral in it."
Business done.—Nearly all.