BALLAD OF THE WATCHFUL EYE.
["In this crisis the best we can do is to keep our eye on Mr. Asquith."—"The Daily Chronicle's" report of Lord Saye and Sele at Worthing.]
O keep your eye on David,
The demigod of Wales,
Before whose furious onset
Dukes turn their timid tails;
Whom Merioneth mystics
Praise in delirious distichs,
And matched with whose statistics
Munchausen's glory pales.
O keep your eye on Winston,
And mind you keep it tight,
For nearly every Saturday
You'll find he takes to flight;
Now eloquent and thrilling,
Now simply cheap and filling,
And now bent on distilling
The purest Party spite.
O keep your eye on Haldane,
Ex-Minister of War,
The sleek and supple-minded
And suave Lord Chancellor,
Whose brain, so keen and subtle,
Moves swifter than a shuttle,
Obscuring, like the cuttle,
Things that were plain before.
O keep your eye on Morley
(Well-known as "Honest John"),
The peccant paragrapher
Who still is holding on;
But, though his strange position
Excited some suspicion,
We've Curzon's frank admission
Of joy he hasn't gone.
O keep your eye on Lulu
Who Greater Britain sways
From distant Woolloomooloo
To Nova Scotia's bays;
Whose sumptuous urbanity,
Combined with well-groomed sanity
And freedom from profanity,
Stirs David's deep amaze.
O keep your eye on Birrell,
So wholly free from guile,
Conspicuous by his absence
From Erin's peaceful isle;
Who wakes from floor to rafter
The House to heedless laughter,
Careless of what comes after
Can he but raise a smile.
O keep your eye on Masterman,
Dear David's henchman leal,
Whose piety and "uplift"
Make ribald Tories squeal;
In every public function
Displaying the conjunction
Of perfect moral unction
With perfect Party zeal.