Butler (to new servant from the country). "When you've quite finished cleaning next door's steps perhaps you would kindly begin on our own."
"Bric-a-brac.—'My Somali Book' is a work by Captain Mosse, who spent a considerable time in the country, which Sampson Low is about to publish."—Daily Chronicle.
Modesty is all very well in its place, but to publish an area of over 400,000 square miles and then call the feat "Bric-à-Brac"—well!
"The full penalty of £20 and costs was imposed at Croydon Borough Police-court upon Ernest Montefiore de Wilton, of St. James's-street, W., for exceeding the ten-mile limit at Southend on Jan. 25.
Burroughes & Watts' Billiard Tables for Speed."—Daily Telegraph.
Mr. de Wilton, reading the advertisement: "No, thanks. A really slow table for me."