Barbara. John, but she looks so well! What's the matter with her?
Staffurth. Well, it's a little difficult to explain. But without being technical I may say that it is—er—not exactly appendicitis and yet—er—not exactly mumps. Anyhow, it's always very fatal on the stage.
Barbara. Two years! John, I'm not quite clear whether I'm your relation or Diana's, or, in fact, what I'm doing in the house at all, but as an old friend of somebody's may I give you a word of advice?
Staffurth (looking at his watch). Certainly, but you must be quick. I have to be back at the House in five seconds.
Barbara. Then, John, give Diana a good time for those two years. Ask her to recite sometimes, tell her about Welsh Disestablishment, at all costs keep her amused.
Staffurth (amazed.) My dear girl, do you realise I'm an Opposition Member? The Government may spring a snap division on us at any moment. (Taking out his engagement book.) Still, let me see what I can do. On July 15th, 1916—— Oh no, that will be too late. November 25th, 1915—how's that? We might have an afternoon at Kew then if the Whips don't want me. (Looking at his watch.) Well, I must be off. Don't let Diana know she's ill.
[Exit hastily. Enter Diana Staffurth.
Diana. I listened outside the door! Two years, and he won't even ask me to recite to him! He doesn't love me.
Barbara. He does, he does! But he's one of those men who never show it till the Last Act.
Diana. Well, I know somebody who doesn't mind showing it in the First Act. (Goes to telephone.) Is that you, Captain Furness? I've just learnt a new little piece.... Yes, don't be long.