“That’s just it,” replied Charles in a mournful voice. “I did. I talked to the bride.”
“Hang it, so did I!” I exclaimed rather indignantly. “Directly I got in I went up to William and her and said to her, ‘How glad you must be it’s all over!’ and then quite suddenly it struck me that that wasn’t really the best thing to say in the circumstances, so I blushed and trod on William’s toe and passed on. What did you do in the garden?”
“Well, I wandered about on the lawn where there were lots and lots of people,” said Charles. “I didn’t seem to meet anyone I knew, but the flower-beds were most beautifully kept. I have seldom seen such a display of cress sandwiches and champagne. After a bit I strolled down through the shrubberies, went through a little wooden gate and found myself amongst the raspberry canes. About a quarter of an hour later, after a little fruity refreshment, whom should I meet walking along a quiet shady path but the bride herself, all alone.”
“Stealing away to get one last raspberry at the dear old home,” I said. “How romantic! What did you do? Hide?”
“No,” answered Charles bitterly. “I only wish I had. I felt that now or never was the time. I went straight up to her, and, feeling that to talk about the weather or the theatres on such an occasion would be rather footling, in spite of the fact that we’d never been introduced, I plunged straight into it. ‘You’ve never seen me before in your life,’ I said earnestly, ‘because you haven’t got eyes in the back of your head, and I’ve never seen you because I can’t look through stone. What’s more, I’m only a little silver pepper-castor, an insignificant item in your cruet. But I must tell you how delighted I am to have a chance of speaking to you.’”
“What did she say to that?” I asked.
“Well, you’d never believe it, but the girl looked quite nervous and frightened, and positively began to walk away from me. I supposed I’d begun on the wrong tack, so I hurried after her and started again. ‘Marriage is a state full of the most serious responsibilities,’ I said, ‘but one glance at you shows me that you are fully competent to shoulder them all.’”
“That sounds as if you thought she looked a trifle statuesque,” I said. “Did she seem annoyed?”
“Worse,” replied Charles. “She hurried on again without speaking a word. ‘Stop,’ I cried, ‘stop! I am a friend of the fairy prince;’ and just then we came out on to a piece of lawn, and she gave a little shriek and actually ran away, leaving me standing where I was. I was so ashamed and exhausted that I slunk back through the little gate and had some more raspberries. When I had partially recovered I returned to the upper part of the garden again, had two cups of tea in the big tent, and made my way back to the station, where I saw you. If you hadn’t got into another carriage I should have told you about it at the time.”
“Then you never saw them going away at all?” I said.