Customer. "Bring me some soup, please."
Waitress (absent-mindedly). "Yes, Sir; purl or plain, Sir?"
The End of the Press Bureau.
"Members of several guilds carried their banners in the procession which went round the church to the accompaniment of impressive music and the swinging of censors."—South Western Star.
If this had got about, there would have been a bigger crowd at the ceremony. As it was, Fleet Street was taken by surprise, and only had time to prepare a few fireworks for the evening.
"Among other public buildings in a certain town which for many reasons it will be prudent to refrain from mentioning ... on a day and date which I need not trouble to repeat...."
No, this is not from our Special Representative behind the Front; it is the opening passage of Oliver Twist, and shows what a splendid War Correspondent Dickens would have made.