Why, it is being asked, do not the French retaliate for the damage done by the Germans to their cathedrals and drop bombs on Berlin? The persons who put this question have evidently never seen Berlin or they would know that you cannot damage its architecture if you try.
The Kaiser has announced his intention of eating his Christmas dinner in London. We trust that Mr. McKenna and his men will see to it that His Majesty will, anyhow, find no mince pies here. [Note.—"Mince pies" should be pronounced "mean spies." This greatly improves the paragraph.]
According to one report which reaches us the Kaiser is now beginning to quibble. He has pointed out that, when he said he would eat his Christmas dinner at Buckingham Palace, he did not mention which Christmas.
TO THE ENEMY, ON HIS ACHIEVEMENT.
Now wanes the third moon since your conquering host
Was to have laid our weakling army low,