Doctor. "You'll be all right now, and I have much pleasure in returning you the two sovereigns which I found shot into you with the purse."
Sergeant. "Thank you, Sir; I don't call half a quid dear for doin' that job."
Doctor. "I don't follow you."
Sergeant. "Well, I had two-pound-ten in that purse."
HOW TO DEAL WITH SUBMARINES.
["The Syren and Shipping offers £500 to the captain, officers and crew of the first British merchant vessel which succeeds in sinking a German submarine."—The Times.]