On the scientific mode of blowing any kind of egg;
On the forms of condescension which the human boy insult;
On the picture-palace mania, on the Charlie Chaplin cult;
On the latest modern weapons which supplant the catapult—
On these elemental matters, and indeed on many more,
I have now accumulated quite a valuable store
Of instructive, entertaining and authoritative lore.
And I hope, on my returning to my humdrum normal life—
When we've scotched the Kaiser's yearning after sanguinary strife—
Fortified by modern learning, to electrify my wife.