"The Rivista Marittima publishes details of a new German ironclad, which is claimed to be totally unsinkable.... It is said to be a Dreadnought-cruiser, fitted with triple skins of armour, stuffed with non-resisting material."—Times.
It sounds like one of our conscientious objectors.
"The albatross—its docility was charming—soon occupied a splendid isolation on the tarpaulined covered hatchway platform.... I shall in future read Keats' 'Ancient Mariner' with an accentuated interest."
Natal Witness.
Coleridge's "Ode to a Nightingale" was rejected as dealing with the wrong bird.
"Young Lady-Attendant for Allies' Rifle Range, to replace one getting married; the 3rd in 12 months doing the same; good remuneration, and comfortable job."—Glasgow Citizen.
Bow and arrow or .303, Cupid's markmanship remains unerring.
"The Man who dined at Krupp's and worked with the Kaiser."
Morning Paper Heading.