Spontaneous debate has never been the Colonel's strong point. His oratorical engines are driven by midnight oil. Wisely, therefore, he did not attempt an elaborate réplique to Mr. Balfour's "sword-play," but contented himself with a brief restatement of his case.
Thursday, March 9th.—Prophets swarm in both Houses of Parliament, but the House of Lords is unique in possessing one who confines himself to subjects which he has at his fingers' ends and whose prophecies have a habit of coming true. What Lord Montagu of Beaulieu does not know of the petrol engine, and its use on land or sea or in the air, is not worth knowing. Seven years ago he warned his countrymen of the bomb-dropping possibilities of the new German air-ships. A little later he pointed out that it was very doubtful if dirigible balloons could be successfully attacked by gunfire from the ground, and that the only effective way of opposing them was to meet like with like. Again in 1913 he dwelt upon the inadequacy of our aerial defences.
His object to-day was not to extol his own merits as a prophet, but to get the Government to act on the motto "One Element One Service" and establish a single Ministry of the Air. Lord Haldane thought we ought to do some "violent thinking" before adopting the proposal, but quite agreed (with a reminiscent glance at the Woolsack) that we had not made sufficient use of lighter-than-air machines. That was Lord Beresford's view, too; we must oppose Zeps to Zeps. Then, having evidently done some violent thinking over the recent debate in the Commons he launched out into a wholly irrelevant attack upon Colonel Churchill for trying to create anxiety about the Fleet, and appealed to Lord Fisher (who was not present though Lord Beresford had particularly invited him) to repudiate the agitation conducted by the honourable Member for Dundee, a few newspapers and twenty sandwichmen. Lord Lansdowne subsequently noted that this most irregular digression appeared to be "not wholly distasteful" to the peers assembled. Turning to Lord Montagu's proposal he pointed out that the Government had gone some way to meet it by setting up Lord Derby's Committee. But, though prepared to see the Cabinet increased to a round couple of dozen, he was not convinced that the only way to remove imperfections was to appoint a new Minister to deal with them.
It seems probable therefore that there is no truth in the report that Colonel Churchill has been asked to join the Government as Minister of Admonitions.
Tommy (who is learning every minute about barbed-wire defences). "When I gets home, no more perishin' cats shall ever get into my back garden."
Painful Accident to a Clergyman.
"While the Rev. Mr. Stulting was camping out one of his calves was attacked and stung to death by a passing swarm of bees."
Cape Argus.