"In the dark days through which we are passing, when the liberties of Europe tremble in the balance ("Hear, hear," from Chapman), it gratifies me very much to receive a petition from the school suggesting that in consequence of the financial strain there should be a prolongation of the customary Easter vacation. It pleases me to see that the financial responsibilities of the house-masters are appreciated by their charges. Would that our Government had the same patriotic horror of extravagance! However we must consider the post-bellum conditions. All the intellect of England will be needed after the War ("Double holiday task," prophesied Dyson). Yet I feel that steps must be taken on the lines of your petition (an enthusiastic friend here patted Chapman on the back). So, after consultation with the house-masters, I have arranged that in future only two courses will be served at dinner, and that there will be a reduction in the number of breakfast dishes. Thus without your being handicapped in the intellectual contest your laudable and patriotic desire to reduce expenses will be met. I may repeat that your consideration for your house-masters, who perform useful and necessary functions, has gratified me."
Number 11 study that night was barricaded against all comers. A howling crowd in the corridor was demanding the blood of Chapman major.
"Didn't I tell you to keep on ruining Dabs?" said Dyson. "Now the old beast will be wallowing in Exchequer Bonds bought out of our sausages and suet."
Engineer-Storekeeper (dictating). "Two gross fire bricks."
Stoker (writing). "Two gross fire b—r—i—x."
Engineer-Storekeeper. "'B—r—i—x' don't spell bricks."
Stoker. "Well, wot do it spell?"