"You never know your luck when you get our FRUIT."—Advt. in Irish Paper.
"Mr. Hayes. Certainty is defined in Webster as the maximum of our expectations. (Loud laughter.)
The Judge (laughing). Let us get on. This is more like Punch than anything else. (Laughter.)"—Pall Mall Gazette.
It will now have to be called the Supreme Court of Punch and Judicature.
Dear Old Lady. "It must be a great strain for the man up the periscope."
Nephew. "Yes, he has a thin time."