Scene.—A Kensington drawing-room. Mr. and Mrs. Smith are discovered shivering over the fire.
Mr. Smith. No, no. Not like that at all. You must break up that big lump first.
Mrs. Smith (coldly). This is the way my mother taught me to make up fires.
Mr. Smith. Your mother! Ha!
[Snatches the poker from her hand.
Mary (entering). The Coal Inspector has called.
Enter Coal Inspector.
Taking the poker from Mr. Smith's nerveless grasp, with three vicious thrusts he assassinates the already moribund fire. They watch him with faces of horror. As he turns to go they glance at each other, and with a simultaneous impulse seize the tongs and shovel and strike him with all their strength on the back of the head.
Mr. Smith rings the bell. Enter Mary.
Mr. Smith. Please sweep that up.