"It's 'ere the finest scene in the fillum ought to 'appen. Imagine a crowd of defrauded an' infuriated soldiery, led by Reginald, marching up to the F.P. compound and demanding that the miserable Blaney an' their stakes should be 'anded over to them.
Mabel (to dentist). "Be careful, won't you? I'm dreffly ticklish."
"'Never!' says the Provost-Sergeant, twirling his moustaches to needle points.
"'As a sportsman I appeal to you,' says Reginald, 'or we'll wreck the blinkin' compound.'
"'I'll not give him up while I have breath in my body,' says the Provost-Sergeant. 'I've drawn Chelsea in the sweep.'
"Then should ensue the gloriousest shemozzle that ever was; but this scene is spoiled by some miserable perisher who says it ain't worth while making a rough house till they know who's won. What really happens is that they wait till the Sunday papers arrive, when it is found Suzanne 'as won the sweep, 'er 'aving drawn Sunderland, what was top-scorer with seven goals.
"It is then that Reginald's noble nature shows itself. Instead of telling 'er that she's won an' then disappointing 'er by saying the prize money is in custody, 'e buys 'er ticket for 'alf-price. Then 'e goes to the compound an' bribes the sentry to let 'im talk to Blaney through the barbed wire.
"'There's the winning ticket, Blaney,' 'e says; 'now pay out.'