Positively the Last Performance!
(You must come on with a general suggestion in your manner that you are supposed to be the proprietor of an itinerant Cat and Canary Troupe. Begin with a slow and somewhat depressed shake of the head, as if in answer to imaginary inquirer.)
No, we ain’t performin’ to-day, Sir, and the boys are all on the gape
At seem’ the mice in mournin’, and the cats in chokers o’ crape;
But I’m giving the Show a rest, d’ye see? for I didn’t feel up to the job,
(Pause—then subdued) For my leadin’ comejian’s left me, Sir—
(Explanatory, perceiving you are not understood)—the brindle kinairy—(more impatiently) Bob!
What, ye don’t remember? (Surprise.) Not him as wore the toonic o’ Turkey red?
What rode in a gilded kerridge with a ’at an’ plumes on his ’ed?
And, as soon as we’d taken a tanner, ’ud fire a saloot from the gun? [Excitedly.