Tuesday.—Fight on Land Purchase Bill been going forward again at Morning Sitting; rather dull, though enlivened by speech from Plunket, who once more reminded House how much it loses by his habitual silence. At Evening Sitting Grandolph came on with his Licensing Bill. Let eager politicians and ambitious statesmen arm themselves for combat in the field of high politics; Grandolph's only desire is to do a little good in the world whilst yet he lingers on this level. Nothing new in crusade against drink. No kudos to be gained; no acclaim of the multitude to ring in the pleased ear; no cheering clash of party conflict. Grandolph gives a deprecating twirl to his modest moustache, and takes up his homely parable. Possibly he does this with the larger content, since he had his go at the Land Purchase Bill before Debate on Second Reading opened. His letters, published on eve of Easter recess, hurtled pleasantly around the heads of his esteemed friends on Treasury Bench. Could not say anything more or anything better if he joined in debate; so sits silent through Morning Sitting, and when the shades of evening fall, he meekly lifts up his voice, expounding a measure of domestic legislation fraught with permanent interest to the masses.
"A most promising member of the Band of Hope," says Wilfred Lawson, regarding Grandolph with fatherly kindness. "Wonder if I might ask him to crack a bottle of ginger-beer with me. Will certainly proffer the hospitality if I get a chance."
The grand young Gardner (and his wife; can complete quotation now) back again after wedding trip. Doesn't look quite so brisk as the average bridegroom. "Fact is, old fellow," he said, as I condoled with him, "when I said I would die a bachelor, I never thought I would live to be married, go off on a wedding trip, catch the influenza at Innsbruck, the measles at Milan, the scarlatina at Samarcand, and the malaria at Mentone."
Business done.—Morning Sitting, Irish Land Purchase Bill; Evening, Grandolph's Licensing Bill read First Time.
Thursday.—Ordinarily amicable proceedings in debate on Irish Land Purchase Bill varied by accidental but unhappy circumstances. Prince Arthur in course of speech happened to say, that "under Bill of 1886 Irish Government was supposed to be a buffer between the English Government and the Irish tenant." Mr. G., sitting attentive, suddenly sprang up when this insult fell on his ear. Bill of 1886 not a tempting topic; led to downfall of his Ministry; but to hear it publicly called a "buffer," more than he could stand—or, rather, sit. Leaped to feet, and, with thrilling energy, repudiated gross imputation. Prince Arthur taken aback; hadn't meant anything particular. To call a thing or a person a buffer not necessarily a term of opprobrium. Everything depends on inflection of tone. Suppose, now, leaning across the table, he had addressed Mr. G. as "old buffer," that would perhaps have been a little familiar, but not vindictive.
This he tried to make clear. Having, as he thought, averted the thunder, repeated remarks about Bill of 1886 being a buffer. Didn't even put it in that direct form.
"I said," he observed with seraphic smile and deferential manner, "that the Irish Government under the Right Hon. Gentleman's Bill was supposed to occupy the position, more or less, of a buffer between the English Government and the Irish tenant."
Mr. G. up again with catapultic force and suddenness. "Not in the least," he angrily protested. "A buffer is between two things."
Expected that would floor Prince Arthur; but he came back again, and sheltering himself behind the brass-bound box, called out, "Yes, but a buffer might be between two persons as well as between two things."
Mr. G. angrily shook his head; a Jove-like frown mantled his countenance. But disdained to pursue controversy further, and Prince Arthur, carefully avoiding further reference to buffers, went his way. Difference of opinion as to how question was left; Conservatives insist that Prince Arthur had best of it; Liberals stand by Mr. G. Many wonder why Speaker did not interfere; as he did not, it is assumed that buffer is a Parliamentary word, at least when applied to inanimate creation.