ANY EXCUSE BETTER THAN NONE.
Cautious Customer. "But if he's a Young Horse, why do his Knees bend so?"
Dealer (reassuringly). "Ah, Sir, the poor Hanimal 'as been living in a Stable as was too low for 'im, and 'es 'ad to Stoop!"
"Wanted a Word!"—Lord Bury wants a word to express electric action. Anything Lord Bury deals with should be of grave import. Attempting to find a new verb is quite an undertaking—to Bury. How would "bury" do? "We buried him;" meaning, "we electrified him." "We went along Bury well;" meaning, "the progress caused by electricity was satisfactory." "We 'Buried along' at a great rate," and so forth.
ROOKY WALKER!
Sir,—Perhaps you have read the stories now being told in the Spectator about rooks and wasps as Policemen. "W.H.W.H." says that a pair of rooks were persecuted while building their nest, and that a big rook was deputed to guard them from attack—which he did, like other policemen, by employing the "beak." There is really nothing at all remarkable about this tale. Rooks are much more wonderful creatures than anybody knows about. In my own garden, for instance, there is a rook who acts as chaplain to a whole rookery. He might almost be called a "bird of pray." Every Saturday he assembles all the rooks on one large tree, and caws solemnly to them for ten minutes. I have noticed (through an opera-glass) that the congregation wears a very devout appearance. Churchwarden rooks go round while the service is proceeding, and peck any birds that seem inattentive. At the close there is a universal caw, which I believe stands for "Amen." It is a curious fact that the chaplain rook on these occasions always ornaments himself with a wisp of white grass tied round his neck, which increases his clerical aspect. I have tried to induce the rooks—by firing at them with small shot—to adopt Sunday instead of Saturday as their day of devotions, but hitherto without success. You may think the above worth publishing. It is quite true.
Yours, &c.,
Longbow.