"ANNALS OF A QUIET PARISH."
The Vicar's Wife (to Country Tradesman). "Now, Hoskins, after so many years of our Liberal Patronage, it was really too bad of you to send us such a Globe—cracked from Top to Bottom——!"
Vicar (calling from the Study-door at end of passage). "My Dear, did you recollect to send for Hoskins about the Globe you had the little Accident with last week!"
AN UNSCIENTIFIC DIALOGUE.
(On a highly Uninteresting Topic.)
First Aspiring Political Economist (picking his way cautiously). What the Bimetallists maintain is this: that by fixing an artificial ratio between the relative values of gold and silver, you somehow (a little vaguely) keep up prices; and so, at least,—so I fancy,—assist the circulation of capital. At all events, that is what I take M. Emile de Laveleye to mean. (Tentatively.) You see that, don't you?
Second Aspiring Political Economist. Not a bit of it. Why, Emile de Laveleye is an ass. (Emphatically.) Giffen says so. And you can't have a higher authority than Giffen (clinching the matter). Why, he's Hon. Assistant Deputy Secretary to the Board of Commerce; (with animation) in fact, he says that all Bimetallists are hopeless lunatics, and, in my opinion, he's about right.
Third Aspiring Political Economist. I don't see that at all. But if you are going to settle the matter by merely quoting names, what have you got to say to Foxwell, the London Professor? He's a Bimetallist, and no mistake.
Second Aspiring Political Economist. "Got to say?" Why, ask Levin of Cambridge what he thinks of him. Levin backs up Giffen in every word he says, and I agree with both of them. How can you have two standards? (Explicitly.) The thing is preposterous.