REFRESHMENTS IN VOGUE.
"Quinine or Antipyrine, my Lady?"
A PAGE FROM A DIARY.
(Purely Imaginary.)
First Week.—Now let me see what I have to do. I will leave out of consideration my extra-parliamentary utterances—they will take care of themselves. Shan't forget them. But other matters. Well, I have to turn the works of my dear old friend Alf Tennyson into Greek—of course, omitting certain highly injudicious lines of a reactionary character. Then I must read through the last edition of the Encyclopædia Britannica. No skipping, but go through every article thoroughly and conscientiously. Then, of course, there is Grand Day at Gray's Inn. Must not forget that. Should like, above all things, to be present. Now let me see that I have got the date all right. Yes, I remember. Grand Day, Hilary Term. Falls on a Thursday. I shan't forget.
Second Week.—Translation of Tennyson into Greek going on famously. Not had time to cut down any trees, so busy have I been. Got as far as "Foghorn" in Encyclopædia Britannica. New edition a very good one. Glad I made up my mind to read it. Let me see, anything else? Why, to be sure, Grand Day at Gray's Inn! Rather cut off my hand or even my head, than forget that! Treasurer particularly nice man. So are all the Benchers. So are all the Barristers and the Students. Excellent fellows, all of them—yes, excellent. So must not forget Grand Day at Gray's Inn. To be sure. Falls on a Thursday.
Third Week.—A. T. progressing nicely. Little difficulty about the translation of the Northern Farmer. Rather awkward to give the proper weight of a country dialect in Greek. However, it reads very well, indeed! Think my dear old friend Alf will be pleased with it; he should be, as it has given me a good deal of trouble. However, all's well that ends well. E. B. also satisfactory. Got into the "D's." Article upon the "Docks," scarcely exhaustive enough to please me, so have been reading some other books upon the same subject. Forgotten nothing? No, because I remember I have to dine at Gray's Inn. Yes, to be sure—23rd of January. Grand Day. Hilary Term. Falls on a Thursday. Would not forget it to save my election! Looking forward to the port. Excellent port at Gray's Inn, I am told. Well, well, I shall be there! I don't believe much in artificial memory, but to assist my recollection, I have tied knots in all my pocket-handkerchiefs. Wouldn't forget the fixture for a kingdom. Falls on a Thursday.
Fourth Week.—Finished Greek translation of Tennyson's Poems. Very pleased with the result. Must send a copy to dear old Alf. Perhaps it might suggest to him that it would be a graceful compliment in return to translate all my speeches into Latin verse. Dear old friend! There is not another man to whom I would entrust such a task with equal heartiness. He would do it so well. Must look up my earlier orations. If Alf does any of it, he should do it all. I do not believe in half measures. Nearly finished the E. B. Article upon "Music" very interesting. "Pigs" not so good; however "Wheel-barrows" excellent and exhaustive. Rather angry to find knots in my handkerchiefs, &c., until I suddenly remembered they were to remind me of my engagement to dine at Gray's Inn. To be sure. Grand Day, Hilary Term. Falls on a Thursday. Sure to be a delightful evening. Several of my young Irish friends are members of the Society. I am looking forward to it so much. Useful things, knots. Remembered it at once! Tie them again. Also put grey wideawake hat over clock in my study. That will remind me of Gray's Inn. Falls on a Thursday!