STUDIES IN REPARTEE.
Algy (patronizingly). "Ullo, Jim!—what—you play the Banjo? You lucky Dog, you possess all the Accomplishments I lack!"
Jim, (modestly). "Oh, Nonsense! Why, you're making me out a regular crichton!"
WORK FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
Dear Mr. Punch, New Year's Day (or thereabouts), 1890.
Every fellow says you are such a good chap, and what every fellow says must be true. Now we want you to do us a good turn. We wish you would write down "holiday tasks." It is such a beastly shame that fellows home for "the Yule-Tide Vacation" (as our Head Master calls it), should have to be stewing away at all sorts of beastly things. No—if we are to do anything in the working line, let us have a paper like the subjoined, which, at any rate, will test our knowledge of what we have been doing during the holidays. You will see I have added the answers in the manner I think they should be given to secure full marks. Believe me, dear Mr. Punch,
Yours sincerely, Smith Minimus.
1. Give a short account of your Christmas dinner, distinguishing between the sustenance for the body, and the food for the mind.
Answer. Whole affair stunning. Turkey and mince-pies first-rate. Champagne might have been drier—but, tol lol! Uncle Bob rather prosy, but his girls capital fun. Tips satisfactory.