Ingenious this; but Sutherland says, he understands now why many of the Irish Members are accustomed to wear low-crowned hats during Parliamentary Debate. Comes a little expensive to sit about listening with a silk hat on.
Business done.—Land Purchase Bill in Committee.
Tuesday.—Grandolph's seat empty. Not been here since House resumed after Whitsun holidays. Looked for to-night. Has first place on Orders with Instruction on going into Committee on Compensation Bill. Speaker been going about with a besom brushing away Instructions. Only Grandolph's stands, a monument to his adroitness and ingenuity. Opposition looking forward to pleasant evening. If Grandolph makes rattling speech in support of his Instruction, it will make things disagreeable for the Ministry. Moment comes, but Grandolph lingers. Cousin Curzon gets up, announces that Grandolph has heard that Government intend to oppose the Instruction. That being so, he does not think it expedient, in interests of public business, to persevere with it. So will stay in Paris, look through the Luxembourg, loiter in the Louvre, lunch in the Eiffel Tower, and otherwise innocently wile the hours away.
"No," said Cousin Curzon, when I observed that this was not like the Grandolph of old times; "he is much altered; as meek as he was once aggressive. Shudders at the thought of causing a moment's inconvenience to a Government of which Georgie Hamilton is an ornament; quite surprised to learn that Government would oppose Amendment, the carrying of which would be equivalent to defeat of their measure. When he heard of it at once decided to drop his Instruction."
Business done.—In Committee on Compensation Bill.
Wednesday.—House sitting; Members talking; Bills advanced by stages; but thoughts of Members concentrated on secret Old Morality carries in his placid bosom. What proposals are Government going to make for arrangement of public business? Are they going to drop three Bills, or two, or one, or carry all three? If so, how is it to be done? by Autumn Session? by peremptory Closure? or by new device of carrying over measures into succeeding Session? Over a cup of five-o'clock, taken in his private room, I frankly put these questions to Old Morality. No use beating about the bush when you are with old friends.
"Toby," he says, as I light another cigarette, and settle myself to hear the disclosure, "recent morphological inquiry has a curious bearing on this point. Biologists have lately been busy discussing the meaning of a certain organ, to which, in the present stage of its development, it appears impossible to assign any utilitarian value. The case I allude to is the electric organ in the tail of the skate, on which Professor Cossar Ewart read a paper before the Royal Society. You will find a full report of it in Phil. Trans., Vol. LXXIX. Other aquatic animals which possess such organs use them to advantage as electric batteries against their foes. They feel impelled to do so, by what I may perhaps distantly allude to as a sense of duty to their Queen and Country. But the electric organ of the skate, though a most complicated mechanism, a structure as elaborate as any in the animal kingdom, appears to be of no benefit whatever to its possessor. This is a very curious thing. I can hardly sleep of nights thinking about it. Can you suggest any explanation? Excuse me, there's the division-bell. Perhaps you'll draw me up a little memorandum giving me your views on the subject."
Very curious indeed. I hadn't mentioned the skate; don't quite see how he slided into the subject. Shall take another opportunity of ascertaining Old Morality's views and intentions with respect to Government plan for arranging business.
Business done.—As to electric organ in the tail of the skate.
Thursday.—A pretty kettle-of-fish. Electric organ of skate seems to have touched up Government; confusion at Carlton to-day. The Markiss met his merry men; proposed that Bills not completed by Prorogation should be carried over to next Session and taken up at stage reached this year. Loud outcry in Conservative ranks; proposal denounced as revolutionary; wouldn't have it on any terms; meeting broke up without passing any resolution; Old Morality due at House at half-past three to give notice of Resolutions on Procedure.