Mon Cher Monsieur Punch,
I know what interest profound and gracious you have always manifested towards the glorious efforts of the heroic youth of our regenerated athletic France, for have I not read your notices amiable and scientific of les "doings" of our onze at the jeu de Cricquette, and still later of the murderous combat of the veritable "struggle-for-lifers" in le scrimmage of your terrible contest of "Kicke-balle"? But now the valiant youth of our public seminaries have advanced still one more step, and the afternoon of last Tuesday saw, in the leafy arcades of our Bois, a true "stick-balle" fight—in one word, a parti of "Le 'Ockey," played with vrais bâtons, clubs long and terrible, with cruel hooked finish, to the eye of the beholder, and the dangerous white ball, hard as iron, heavy as lead, between a 'ome team and a "side" of strangers, that would have done credit to an "Oxfor-Cambridge" battle or a fight royal, in which Les Roverres de Peckham were themselves engaged.
The costume of the 'ome team, of which I was the General, consisting, as it did, of "knickerbockerres" of pink velvet, jerseys of green and yellow satin in stripes, padded in front and behind, as a protection from les coups de les "stickes," with large feather pillows, and 'igh jack-boots, worn with the same motive, completed, together with a massive iron and wire mask, surmounted with a funereal plume, used to safeguard the head and neck, a costume at once striking and useful. The strangers were, perhaps, not quite so happily arranged, their legs being encased in chain-armour, and their bodies protected by large wicker clothes-washing-baskets; but, though this precautionary costume hampered in some respect the play of their arms, and impeded their swiftness in making "le rush," still, the hardest blow of the death-dealing "stickes" fell on them without pain, and they could meet the approach of the terrible iron-lead ball without the apprehensive tremblings of terror.
The contest, though fierce, was not of long duration, for, after the ninth goal, the iron-lead ball was driven with such furious élan by the victorious side that it dashed into the middle of the spectators, and was swallowed, in the excitement, by the startled horse of an omnibus. Thereupon the Umpire, being appealed to, decided the contest terminated with victory, by three goals to nothing, to the 'ome team, and amidst the prolonged "hurrahs" of the assembled thousands, who represented all the élite of the veritable 'igh and Sporting life of the best Parisian Society, the first day's stick-balle fight that has now introduced "Le 'Ockey" into the arena of our rising National Athletics, came to a brilliant and inspiriting end. I beg you, Mon cher Monsieur Punch, be assured of my highest considerations, as I subscribe myself your very humble serviteur,
The First Champion of Les Sports.
DEFINITIONS.
Mater.—One who finds mates for her daughters.
Check Mate.—A husband with money.