ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, March 17.—St. Patrick's Day in the evening. Every Irish Member carries in buttonhole bit of withered grass; at least looks like withered grass. Dick Power says it's shamrock. Anyhow it leads to dining-out, and business to fore being nothing more important than voting a few millions sterling for the Navy, House almost empty.
"So much the better for me," says Georgie Hamilton, in charge of Navy Estimates; "the fewer Members the more Votes."
So it proved. Whilst Georgie descanting on excellence of Naval Administration, House so empty that Count moved. A little hard this on a Minister in charge of most important department of State; but, after all, Votes were the thing, and Votes were taken hand-over-hand. Georgie's oration being cut short by attempt to Count he sat down, and as quick as Chairman could put question £3,312,500 of our hard-earned money was voted. Hadn't been in the House five minutes when bang went another million. Only half-a-dozen of us present, including Wilson of Hull, who sat on edge of Bench, with hat in hand, staring at Courtney, as he ticked off million after million. For myself, as representing a Constituency of the Gentlemen of England, grew rather to like it. Something exhilarating in the consciousness that you, being one of eight Members representing the House of Commons, can say "Aye" or "No" to proposal to vote a million sterling more or less. "The question is," says Courtney, "that a sum not exceeding £1,103,200 be voted to Her Majesty on account of sums falling due for victualling, clothing and Naval establishments. Those that are of that opinion, say 'Aye;' contrary 'No.'"
Well, what shall you do? Pretty stiff sum; get a pretty lot of victuals for the million; several suits of clothes for the £103,000. Should you, just to show your independence, knock off the odd £200? No. Barks likes the thing done generously. Why throw in a note of discord? Besides, it doesn't all come out of your pocket. So you say "Aye;" Georgie Hamilton nods in grateful appreciation; Courtney seems relieved; the thing's done, and you walk out with a glowing consciousness of having behaved handsomely.
Slight coolness sprung up between Old Morality and Grandolph. Of late been on rather friendly terms, despite occasional kicking over of the traces by Grandolph.
"Boys will be boys," Old Morality says, smiling genially on his young friend. To-day little hitch arisen; Grandolph has sent to papers text of his Memorandum addressed to First Lord of Treasury in 1888, warning them against appointing Special Commission. Grandolph, having set forth with masterly force his objections to scheme, winds up with remark:—"These reflections have been sketched out concisely. If submitted to a Statesman, many more, and much graver reflections, would probably be suggested." Old Morality hadn't noticed it before; but now words in print stare him in face, doesn't like it. "'Submitted to a Statesman,'" he murmured—"what does the fellow mean? Weren't they submitted to Me?"
Business done.—Voted money by hands-full.
Tuesday.—As a means of suffusing Treasury Bench with hearty, unaffected hilarity, nothing so effective as a defeat in Division Lobby. Noticed this twice of late. The other night, when Hamley's Motion on behalf of Volunteers was, malgré lui, carried against the Government, you'd have thought, to look on Treasury Bench, that some good news had suddenly flashed upon them. Old Morality beaming with smiles: Stanhope smirking; and even the countenance of Jokim convulsively working with what was understood to be signs of merriment. Same thing happened to-night. Buchanan brought forward Motion proposing to intrust to County Councils duty of maintaining and protecting rights of way in Scotland. Scotch Members united in support of popular demand, only Mark Stewart having his doubts. Even Finlay made bold to hint Government would do well to listen to demand. Chamberlain openly and effectively declared on behalf of Resolution; Government seemed to be in tight place; Old Morality moved uneasily in seat; still it would never do to interfere with Dukes and others furtively or openly engaged in the task of closing up paths over mountains, or shutting off walks by the lakes. Very awkward and inconsiderate of Chamberlain going off on this tack.