What is one to do with a man like that? Had we not now come to my turning, Duke's Avenue, where he bade me good-bye, I might have discovered that he did not think Lord Kitchener an imbecile, Mr. Balfour a mere salary-hunter, and Mr. Asquith a traitor. To such an oddly constructed mind even those things were possible.
Tommy (to Jock, on leave). "What about the lingo? Suppose you want an egg over there, what do you say?"
Jock. "Ye juist say, 'Oof'."
Tommy. "But suppose you want two?"
Jock. "Ye say 'Twa Oofs,' and the silly auld fule wife gies ye three, and ye juist gie her back one. Man, it's an awfu' easy language."