Husband.—A person who writes cheques, and dresses as his wife directs.
Duck, in ornithology.—A trussed bridegroom, with his giblets under his arm.
Brute.—A domestic endearment for a husband.
Marriage.—The only habit to which women are constant.
Lover.—Any young man but a brother-in-law.
Clergyman.—One alternative of a lover.
Brother.—The other alternative.
Honeymoon.—A wife’s opportunity.
Horrid; Hideous.—Terms of admiration elicited by the sight of a lovely face anywhere but in the looking-glass.
Nice; Dear.—Expressions of delight at anything, from a baby to a barrel-organ.