Tuesday.—MARJORIBANKS rather depressed as he rose to move his Resolution for appointment of Royal Commission on New Magazine Rifle. Had hoped to appear under very different circumstances. Meant quite to put in the shade LYON PLAYFAIR's historic lecture on Margarine, when he had the tables covered with pots of that substance, with penny loaves and small knives for Members to sample withal. For weeks MARJORIBANKS been preparing for occasion. Had possessed himself of quite an armoury of rifles: intended to bring them into the House and illustrate his lecture with practical experiments. The climax was to be the shooting-off scene. BOBBY SPENCER and ANSTRUTHER on in this. BOBBY standing at the Bar with an apple held on palm of extended right hand; MARJORIBANKS, using Martini-Henry Rifle, was to clear the apple off, leaving BOBBY's hair unsinged, and not a wrinkle added to his collar. ANSTRUTHER was next to stand in the same place, braving the fire of the Magazine Rifle. But he didn't have an apple, as it was arranged that the new arm should jam.
"Suppose it doesn't?" ANSTRUTHER inquired, when MARJORIBANKS first unfolded his scheme.
"Oh, that'll be all right," said MARJORIBANKS, cheerily.
Long practice on the Terrace made the arrangements perfect, when they were suddenly upset by interference from unexpected quarter. The SPEAKER, wondering what all this rifle-popping was, came to hear of the project; at once said it wouldn't do; no arms of any kind admitted in House of Commons, except the sword worn by SERGEANT-AT-ARMS, and once a year the lethal weapons carried by the Naval or Military gentlemen who move and second Address. BOBBY SPENCER rather glad, I fancy; ANSTRUTHER not inconsolable. But MARJORIBANKS distinctly depressed.
"Not often I occupy time of House," he said. "We Whips make Houses, and you empty them. DUFF—and he's not a Whip now—made all the running with his orations on the herring brand. Thought I would make a hit this time."
"I was a little afraid of it too," said ANSTRUTHER.
"Oh, you were all right," said MARJORIBANKS; "the New Magazine Rifle will not fire unless, after first shot, you clean it out with an oily rag, and I was going to take precious good care to forget the rag. You've no public spirit, ANSTRUTHER, since you left us to help WOLMER to whip up Dissentients."
No appeal from SPEAKER's ruling. MARJORIBANKS had to make the best of botched business. Brought to the table a spring snap-extractor, a bolt-head screw, and some other odds and ends; poor substitute for what he had intended. Still made out admirable case, Government mustering majority of only 34 against Motion.
