Mr. Gl-dst-ne.—To explain Home Rule.

Lord R. Ch-rch-ll.—To give up racing in favour of politics.

Mr. H.M. St-nl-y.—To re-write Darkest Africa.

General B-th.—To publish a balance-sheet that will please all.

Mr. Sheriff A-g-st-s H-rr-s.—To attend to his professional duties, and get through his official work.

And Mr. P-nch.—To bear as gaily as ever the weight of half a century.


SUGGESTION FOB MR. W.B. AT THE T.R.O.—Should Mr. WILSON BARRETT contemplate giving another Matinée of that out-of-date play, The Lady of Lyons, why not change its title to The Old Lady of Lyons? No extra charge for this suggestion.


GENUINE ORANGE BITTERS.—Police Protection to TIM HEALY.