Government Inspector. No, Mr. SIKES, I think not. Your youngsters have not touched eleven yet.
Typical British Father. But they're over ten.
Government Inspector. That don't matter. The age is altered. You'll just send your young kids back to the Board School again.
Typical British Father. Well, I call it downright robbery. Why, they supports me, they do; and what more fitter work can you find for the kids, but to support their parients with the sweat of their brow. Why, I thought the 'OME SECRETARY was all on our side.
Government Inspector. Well, he's been beat, that's all. The country don't see the fun of sending children of tender years away from their proper training, to wear out their young bodies and poison their young systems in beastly close, ill-ventilated work-rooms, and all just to bring in an extra bit of money to enable their parents, like you, to laze and loaf at home, and, maybe, spend their hardly-earned wage on drink. However, you'll have to dock it, Mr. SIKES.
Typical British Father. Well, I call it downright bloomin' robbery. It's more. It's a invasion of the sacred rights of the British working man's domestic home. It's a infringement of the liberty of the subject, that's wot it is. It's a teaching the young 'uns rebellion against their natural protectors. It's a bloomin' shame!
[Government Inspector leads them off delighted. Typical British Father left swearing.
UNSELFISH HELP BY SMILES.—"Dr. QUAIN's advice to doctors," says Mr. JAMES PAYN in the Illustrated London News, "always 'to look cheerful,' ought to be written in letters of gold." So it is: in notes, or cheques. When the eminent novelist has to send for Dr. QUAIN, the latter will beam on him, and tell him a good story. The labour he delights in will "physic PAYN."