SPEECHES TO BE LIVED DOWN—IF POSSIBLE!
Sympathetic Lady Guest. "DON'T BE UNHAPPY ABOUT THE RAIN, DEAR MRS. BOUNDERSON—IT WILL SOON BE OVER, AND YOUR GARDEN WILL BE LOVELIER THAN EVER!"
Little Mrs. Goldmore Bounderson (who is giving her first Garden Party). "YES; BUT I'M AFRAID IT WILL KEEP MY MOST DESIRABLE GUESTS FROM COMING!"
ON THE BRIDGE!
(A Much Modernised Version of "The Vision of Mirzah.")
On the second day of the week, commonly called Saint Monday (which according to the Customs of my Forefathers, I always keep as Holiday), after having washed myself, and offered up my Morning Devotions at the shrine of Nicotine, I turned over the pages of Bradshaw, with a view to passing the rest of the day in some more or less Rural Retirement.
As I was here confusing myself with the multitudinous Complexities of this recondite Tome, I fell into a profound Contemplation of the Vanity of human Holiday-making; and, passing from one puzzling page to another, Surely, said I, Man is but a Muddler and Life a Maze!
"Right you are!" sounded a mysterious voice in my ear.