Though ARRIUS's haspirates rucked, and made Mister CAT ULLUS chi-ike,
He was probably jest such a rattler as poets and prigs never like,
When a chap knows 'is book, piles the ochre, perhaps becomes pal to a Prince,
Lor! it's wonderful 'ow a dropped haitch or two do make the mealy-mouths wince.
Wot's a haitch but a garsp, arter all? Yer swell haspirate's only a breath,
Yet, like eating green peas with a knife, it scumfoodles the sniffers to death,
As a fack the knife's 'andiest, fur, and there's many a haitch-screwing toff
Who would find patter easier biz if the motter was "haspirates is hoff!"
The 'Igher Hedgercation means "savvy"; you size up the world, patter slang,
Hit slick, give what for, and Compulsory Latin and Greek may go 'ang.