[Applause.
Reciter Number One (in the midst of a thrilling prose narrative about a certain "'ARRY," who has apparently got into legal difficulties for having thrown a cocoa-nut stick at a retired Colonel). Well, I went into the Court 'ouse, and there, sure enough, was my pore mate 'ARRY in the dock, and there was hold Ginger-whiskers (laughter) a setting on the bench along with the hother beaks, lookin' biliouser, and pepperier, and more happerplecticker nor ever! "Prison-ar," he sez, addressin' 'ARRY (imitation of the voice and manner of a retired Colonel), "Prison-ar, 'ave you—har—hanythink to say in your beyarf—har?" And then, hall of a sudden, I sor a flash come into my dear 'ole comride 'ARRY's heyes, as he strightened 'imself in the dock, and gave the milingtery sloot, and then, in a voice as sounded as true and sweet and clear as a bell, he sez—
A Dingy and Unprepossessing Preacher (unctuously). Well beloved friends, as I was telling yer, I went 'ome to the 'ouse of that pious Methodist lady, and she told me as 'ow she 'ad two dear unconverted sons, an' I knelt down (&c., &c.), an' after that we 'ad our tea, and then I preached a sermon—ah, I well remember I took my tex from (&c. &c.)—an' then she gave me supper (more unctuously still), as nice a bit o' cold beef and 'ome-brewed ale as ever I wish to taste, and I slep' that blessed night in a warm comfortable bed—and this (drawing the inevitable moral) this brings me round to what I started on, inasmuch as it proves (with a forbidding smile) as 'ow yer may sometimes hentertain a angel unawares!
Reciter Number Two (giving his own private version of "The Ticket of Leave Man.") Fourpence 'ap'ny, Gentlemen, is not a very 'arty nor corjial recognition of my talent; 'owever, I will now perceed with the Drarmer. The Curtain rises upon the Second Hact. Hover three years 'ave elapsed since Robert Brierley—(&c.) We are in May Hedwardses lodgings. She is torkin to 'er goldfinch. If you boys don't give over larkin' and stand back, you'll get a cuff on some of your 'eds. "Goldie," she sez, "I've 'ad a letter from 'Im this morning!" And the bird puts his little 'ed a one side, and a'most seems as if he compre'ended 'er meanin'! Mrs. Willoughby is 'eard outside sayin', "May I come in?" I will now hendeavour to give you a imitation of Mrs. Willoughby.
[He cocks his hat rather more on one side, to indicate feminine garrulity, and continues.
Anti-Parnellite Irishman (warmly). Is it kape to the point? Oi till that white-feeced an' black-hearrted loiar, TIM MURPHY, that if he interrups me wance more whoile o'im in possession o' the chair, oi'll step down an' call 'm to orrder by landin' 'um a clump on the conk!
Reciter Number Three (who is working his way through a bloodcurdling poem, with a hat on the ground before him):—
And on came them maddened 'orses, with their foiery, smokin' breath;
As were bearin' the woman I lurved to a crule and 'orrible death! [Pathetically.
'Ow could I save my darlin' from layin' a mangled 'eap