"Law shall lend us its axe, and its rope, and its screw
I must make you all fit to my Bed standard-sized!"
Ah! Labour may well look a little surprised.
"Fit us all to that cramped prison-pallet! Oh lor!
It may suit a few stumpies, but England holds more.
Might as well fit us out with fixed 'duds' from our birth.
Regardless of difference in growth, or in girth.
No! Snap-votes may be caught 'midst a Congress's roar,
But tool us all down to one gauge, mate? Oh lor!!!"
New Unionist Titan and Stentor in one,