"Well, let that pass," said PETER, "I am here to ask you why you have lived so long. You are one hundred and twenty-seven years old, I think, and yet you are still alive."
"Why, certainly. But you know all about it. Secret no longer. Dr. MORTIMER GRANVILLE has told the Times how it's done. Consider it great shame. Takes the bread, so t' speak, out of one's mouth." Here the Sage gave a lurch and seated himself accidentally on a stuffed alligator. Seeing that his host was about to indulge in an untimely nap, PETER thought the moment had arrived to urge him to reveal his wonderful secret. "I implore you to tell me how you have managed to live for so many years when all your contemporaries are gone."
"Well, sure I don't mind," was the reply. "Won't hurt me—may do you good. Want to know how it's managed?"
"That I do, indeed," was the earnest answer,
"Why reason I've lived for more than century and quarter is this! I've never been—mind, never been during all that time—see—during all that time—never been sober!"
PETER was astounded.
"Why, Sir WILFRID LAWSON says—" he began.
"Never mind what Sir WILF-LAWSON says, I say if you want, keep your health you must—hic—always—be—in—in—intoxicavated! Now go to public-house. My patients in public-houses yonder."
And, urged by a sense of duty, PETER withdrew; and, joining the Sage's cures, found them in various stages of renewed health, and increased intoxication.