It scares my luncheon's calm and dinner's.

It dogs my steps throughout the week,

That cursed crescendo of a shriek;

I cannot read, or write, or speak,

Undeafened by its howl unique,

That demon-yell of "Hall the Winners!"

I'm not, I own, a racing man;

I never loved a horse that ran,

And betting is a vice I ban;

Still, to the sporting caravan—