There's a patch for JOHNNY's jacket, a darn for BILLY's socks,
And an hour or so o' needlework a mendin' POLLY's frocks;
With floors to wash, and plates to clean, she'd soon be skin and bone
('Er cough's that aggravatin') if she did it all alone.
There'll be music while we're workin' to keep us on the go—
I like my tunes as fast as fast, pore mother likes 'em slow—
Ah! we don't get much to laugh at, nor yet too much to eat,
And the music stops us thinkin' when they play it in the street.
"MARIE, COME UP!"—When Miss MARIE LLOYD, who, unprofessionally, when at home, is known as Mrs. PERCY COURTENAY, which her Christian name is MATILDA, recently appeared at Bow-Street Police Court, having summoned her husband for an assault, the Magistrate, Mr. LUSHINGTON, ought to have called on the Complainant to sing "Whacky, Whacky, Whack!" which would have come in most appropriately. Let us hope that the pair will make it up, and, as the story-books say, "live happily ever afterwards."