TROP DE ZÈLE.
(An Aristocratic Tip.)
The New Companion (fresh from Girtham College). "YES, LADY JANE, I SAW HER, WITH HER HABITUAL HYPOCRISY HOLDING OUT HER HAND TO HIS AS HE WAS HARANGUING AT HIS HOTEL—"
Lady Jane. "GOOD GRACIOUS, CHILD, DON'T STICK IN YOUR H'S SO CAREFULLY AS ALL THAT! PEOPLE WILL THINK YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER DROPPED 'EM, AND THAT YOU'RE TRYIN' TO PICK 'EM UP!" [And People wouldn't be very far wrong.
LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.
DEAR MR. PUNCH,—Of my two selections to supply the last Horse in the Derby—one—La Flêche, so far forgot what was due to my prophetic utterances as to finish second—and indeed, very nearly win! However, as such reprehensible conduct was mainly owing to the absurd wish of her jockey, BARRETT, to be first, my readers will see that no blame attaches to me—as the mare would doubtless not have hurried so much had she been left to her own devices—(the sex notoriously dislikes hurry)—it being a well-known fact that she would make a race with a donkey!—though why donkey races should be spoken of with such contempt. I don't know, for I once rode one with Lord ARTHUR on Hampstead Heath—(it was during our engagement, when people will do foolish things; we had been "slumming," and he was disguised in "pearlies," whilst I was gowned "à la 'ARRIETT")—and I assure you our Donkeys went very fast. However—this is a digression—as the man said when he walked over the cliff, so let us "noch einmal zu unser schafen," as the German proverb runs. Although disappointed in the behaviour of La Flêche, my second string Llanthony maintained my reputation for correct tips, by running last, as I said he would!—It is true that some papers report him as having finished seventh and El Diablo last; but as he did not win, he might just as well have been last as seventh—and as I am sure my friend Lord ELTHAM will not mind the placings being reversed—I therefore place Llanthony last—and those of my readers who took my advice and backed him, will have every reason to congratulate themselves when they draw their money!
With regard to the winner, Sir Hugo, whose success was a general surprise to all except myself—(surprise is bad form)—I can only follow the example of all other writers on turf matters in declaring that, "he always had my good word, and was in fact my winter favourite, as anyone can see who will take the trouble to glance through my earlier advices!"—these will be difficult to find, as they were only conveyed in private letters which will not be published until my biography is written later on!—(very much, I hope). Still, had I pursued the ordinary course of trying to tip the Winner, Sir Hugo would undoubtedly have been my sole selection—a fact which should not fail to weigh with my followers—and I have followers in plenty, as Lord ARTHUR knows!