(What it may come to.)
["If we are obliged to go into the open market for our soldiers, and compete with other employers of labour, we must bid as highly as they do, in pay, hours of work, and general conditions and comfort."—Daily Paper on the Report of Lord Wantage's Committee.]
SCENE—A Public Place.
Sergeant KITE and a Possible Recruit in conversation.
Sergeant Kite (continuing). Then you must remember that we are exceedingly generous in the matter of rations.
Possible Recruit (pained). Rations! I suppose you mean courses! I find that in all the large firms in London the assistants have a dinner of six courses served, with cigars and coffee to follow. I couldn't think of joining the Army unless I had the same.
Sergeant K. (with suppressed emotion). If it must be so, then it must. Who's to pay the piper, I don't know! The Public, I suppose.
P. R. I should think so! Then as to drills. Really the number of these useless formalities should be largely decreased, and the hours at which they are held should be fixed with greater regard to the convenience of private soldiers. By the bye, of course I need hardly mention that I should not dream of enlisting unless it was agreed that I should never be called before 9.30 A.M. My early cup of tea and shaving-water might be brought to me at nine.
Sergeant K. (after an interval). Called! Early cup of tea! Shaving-water! Oh, this is too much!
P.R. (coolly). Not at all, my dear Sir, not half enough. There are other points I wish to mention. For example, do you allow feather-beds?