Friday.—Pretty to watch growth of full-blown SPEAKER in New Parliament. First stage—enters in ordinary morning dress, and seats himself with other Members, diligently trying to look as if he expected nothing to happen. Sore temptation for Members sitting near him. Would like to slap him on the back, and ask how he got on through his Election. Short of that, feel they must ask if he wants a pair? Is he dining here? Is he going to have a smoke, or a stroll on the Terrace? Next day, having meanwhile been proposed, seconded, and inducted to Chair, SPEAKER-ELECT turns up in Court-dress, with Bob-wig. This is Development-stage. Having reached it, proceeds to the House of Lords, where he is patronisingly received by LORD CHANCELLOR. ("HALSBURY," SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE says, "peculiarly well up in patronage.") This done, returns to Commons; disappears behind Chair; SERGEANT-AT-ARMS counts twenty-three; presto! door re-opens; SPEAKER re-appears in butterfly-trim, with full-bottomed wig, silk gown, and shoon on which shimmer the sheen of silver buckles.
No trifling with SPEAKER when this final stage reached. KEIR-HARDIE took early opportunity of trying a fall with him—and got it. HARDIE fresh from the coal-pit, represents West Ham; evidently determined to pose as Stage Workman. "DON'T KEIR-HARDIE is my name," he said, swaggering into House just now. "Don't keer a —— for SPEAKER, or any black-coated bloke. I'm the true British Workman, and will soon make all you blooming gentry sit up."
"Are you going to take the Oath?" said COBB. COBB always asking questions.
"Oath!" cried DON'T KEIR-HARDIE, "I'll take 'em in a moog."
Put on his cap, and swaggered towards the table. "Order! order!" cried SPEAKER, in tones of thunder. "DON'T KEIR-HARDIE is my name," said Hon. Member for West Ham; "and blow me if—". Turned, and saw flashing eye of SPEAKER bent upon him. Slowly his hand went up to his head; the cap came off, was crumpled up, and put in his pocket.
"Will you take the oath, or make affirmation?" asked MILMAN, stuck between two tables, but always ready to oblige.
"Don't keer which," said DON'T KEIR-HARDIE; but, possibly from force of habit, took the oath.
"If OLD MORALITY was still with us, my friend," said BURT, gravely, "he would be able to cite for your edification a copy-head showing how Don't Care came to a bad end."
Business done.—Swearing going on in both Houses. Our Army in Flanders quite respectable by comparison.