Brobdingnagian Bagman, big Dreamer of Dreams.
A Titan of tact and shrewd trader—shrewd trader!
A diplomat full of finesse and sharp schemes,
With a touch of the pious Crusader—Crusader!
A "Dealer" with despots, a "Squarer" of Kings,
A jumper of mountain, lake, wilderness, wady,
And manager 'cute of such troublesome things
A Lobengula or the Mahdi—the Mahdi.
Well may Abercorn wonder and Fife tootle praise,
His two thousand hearers raise cheering—raise cheering.
Of wild would-be Scuttlers he proves the mad craze,
And of Governments prone to small-beering—small-beering.
Sullen Boers may prove bores to a man of less tact,
A duffer funk wiles Portuguesy—tuguesy;
But Dutchmen, black potentates, all sorts, in fact,
To Rhodes the astute come quite easy—quite easy.
The British South-African Company's shares
May be at a discount—(Trade-martyrs!—trade-martyrs!)—
But he, our Colossus, strides on, he declares,
Whether with or without chums or charters—or charters.
Hooray! We brave Britons are still to the front—
Provided we've someone to boss us—to boss us;
And Scuttlers will have their work cut out to shunt
This stalwart, far-striding Colossus—Colossus!
A HEARTY WELCOME.
Local Flyman (who also officiates at Funerals). "Mornin', Sir. Glad to see you out again! Really thought I should 'a' had the honor of Drivin' you to the Cemetery, Sir!"
Taxes. A Hoarding and Saving Clause.—À propos of an article in the Times on this subject, and a paragraph of Mr. Punch's, last week, anent "Hoardings," we may now put a supplementary question in this form, "As Government taxes Savings, would it not be quite consistent to tax Hoardings?" Since the answer must, logically, be in the affirmative, let Government begin at once with all the Hoardings displaying any kind of hideous pictorial advertisement.